Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
