if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
