I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
