Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
