I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
