I think i sorta joined a cult last night
tonight lets celebrate not being married
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
