i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
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