how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
