he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
