I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
