Don't you send me to vm
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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