dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize