I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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