hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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