I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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