Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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