just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
