the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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