u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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