East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
this just has baby written all over it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize