It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
