So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
