Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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