return my video game
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
