For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
