Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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