He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize