Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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