are you still at the devil's house?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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