Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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