Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wish i was in the wii world.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Randomize
