We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Alive.
So much puke
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize