I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
