I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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