the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
