i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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