There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
