he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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