I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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