is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
