Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
