Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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