Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Farmville is her only friend.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
