took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
