Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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