the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
