It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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