He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
