grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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