youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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