This girl is more easily done than said...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
