Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
