I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
