My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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