The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
