Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
