it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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