That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
