Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Fuck appropriateness.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
