After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
